Everybody is acquainted with the dating scene, but when should dating stop and LIFE PARTNERSHIP begin? This is the question a lot of people struggle with.
When we go out on a date, we start monitoring how “our dates” are measuring up. Do I accept the way they look, their values, and behaviors? Or do I find them unappealing?
We measure whether the person is 40%, 50%… or 90% acceptable. The same person can reach a 90% on one date, but only 60% on another.
As marriage counselors, our premise is that nobody will be 100% acceptable. In other words… perfect.
The greatest problem we have noticed with the couples we have worked with is that the partners keep on measuring each other even after they get married.
Once we make the most important decision of choosing a Life Partner, the measuring has to stop. Instead, we can make the decision to love and accept this person 100% from now on. This does not mean that we have to accept all of their judgments or behavior 100% of the time; this would be impossible. However, our decision to continue loving and partnering with this person is never going to be in question as our love is an unconditional love, independent of behavior.
When the inevitable conflicts arise, it is vital that these differences be solved together in the spirit of mutual respect. If a couple finds this process difficult to do at times, getting some outside guidance is an important life investment.
Your relationship with your partner can be improved and CAN last a lifetime.